Our cat gets frisked

Posted by Marc Hodak on December 29, 2008 under Irrationality | Read the First Comment

Our security theater put on a great act for me and my wife this weekend as we traveled back from Missouri.

When we reached the security station, my wife had to take our cat from her travel case, and carry her through the metal detector.  Beep.  The inspector asked my wife to step aside to try to figure out what set it off.  She asked if she was carrying any metal (“No.  Maybe my necklace has some metal.”)  The inspector (a female) wanded my wife, found some metal near her chest and waist, where the cat (and the necklace) happened to be, and asked her to put the cat down.  She patted my wife down cursorily, but found nothing.  She looked at the cat.  “Does she have any tags on her?”

“No,” my wife replied.  “It’s an indoor cat.”

She asked my wife if she could inspect the cat, and my wife assured her that our little beast, frightened as it was in this foreign environment, would probably not take kindly to getting handled by anyone else.

“What are you looking for?” she asked the inspector.

At this point, unsure what to do, and clearly unwilling to take a chance on the shaking cat, the inspector called a supervisor.

The supervisor was one of those imperious types who quickly figured out what needed to be done.  Folding his arms on his chest, he ordered, “Pat down the cat.”

My wife looked at him incredulously.  “Are you sure you want to do that?”

He didn’t offer any instruction to the poor inspector as to how she was supposed to frisk the cat without any harm to herself.  Of course, he offered no explanation to my wife what, exactly, he was looking for.  (Aha, what is this!  A zipper!!!  We unzip this and find…a smaller cat in a fur coat!!!  Hiding…box cutters!)

Needless to say, the frisking didn’t yield any proscribed items.  The cat, in fact, had nothing but her fur.  But you knew that.  So did the inspector who, fortunately, got away without a scratch or bite.  So, very likely, did the supervisor.

I wish I had brought my camcorder with me, but I think filming security is not allowed, which probably deprives us untold hours of YouTube entertainment that might otherwise provide some return on this insanity.