Favorite quotes from the Star Chamber

Posted by Marc Hodak on February 11, 2009 under Collectivist instinct, Irrationality, Politics | 3 Comments to Read

Today was Circus Day, when “Wall Street Titans” were thrown to the lions in Congress.

First, we hear from Massachusetts Democratic Rep. Michael Capuano:  “America doesn’t trust you anymore.”  True enough, but rather a strange critique coming from a Congressman.

Capuano also let go with the following rant:  “You come to us today on your bicycles after buying Girl Scout cookies and helping out Mother Theresa and telling us, ‘We’re sorry, we didn’t mean it, we won’t do it again, trust us.’ Well, I have some people in my constituency that actually robbed some of your banks and they say the same thing.”

Awesome.

Next, we have this bit of advice from California Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman regarding the leasing of private planes:  “You could sell them.”

Sell leased planes?  You mean cancel the leases, right.  Surely a person writing our laws knows the difference between owning and leasing.  Ownership, Congressman Sherman?  You know, where a person has property… Oh, never mind.  In any case, how does everyone unloading their planes help the economy?  This, of course, is raw opposition to luxury, which will certainly lead to the same place such craziness led to the last time this kind of populism flared its ugly nostrils.

Next, Democratic Rep. Paul Kanjorski of Pennsylvania told the executives that if their banks did not use TARP money to make risky loans, “Please find a way to return that money before you leave town.”

I can imagine Lloyd Blankfein and Richard Kovacevich going straight to Treasury after the hearings and saying, “Please, please, take back this money.  We’ll keep our toxic assets.  We’ll risk bankruptcy.  But get us out from under all this meddling, mindless, messy red tape that spins out of your economically illiterate colleagues on Capital Hill like topsy.  Please, take back this cash!”

Treasury would, once again, say:  “Sorry.  Your potato.”

Then, we have another solon from Massachusetts, Rep. Barney Frank.  Ah, Barney Frank, you lovable dolt.  After Vikram Pandit of Citigroup said he would take no more bonuses until his firm is profitable again, Frank said, “Why do you need any bonuses at all when a good salary would do?  This notion that you need some special incentive to do the right thing troubles people.”  Congressman Frank clearly believes that the banks should have a rational, straight-forward salary scale, like GS-1 through GS-15.  That way, our banks could be just as effective as the Post Office or Amtrak.  Or Congress.  You wonder if some of these people even believe in having a private sector.  For others, you don’t even have to wonder.

The most frustrating thing about listening to these proceedings is how our representatives wear the mantle of “the people,” as if they really speak for me and you, instead of their own grandstanding interests.  The sanctimony is truly nauseating.  The second most frustrating thing is how completely blameless they hold themselves.  Some of the people, like Frank, were the most responsible for this debacle, far more responsible than any of the eight CEOs sitting in front of them.  That makes for a truly Orwellian spectacle.

There were many other great lines from the MSM articles themselves, written like editorials passing for news.  But who has time to parse MSM statements?

P.S.:  Yes, I know Kovacevich wasn’t at the hearing–his successor Stumpf was–but imagined the former making a more colorful plea than his more politic successor.  One can only imagine what the table pounding Kovacevich was thinking when he heard this crazy remark.